A Letter to Danny's Sister - October 13, 2006

I’m sorry that I don’t know your name but I have been praying for you since Danny first mentioned your health problems. He asked if there were any suggestions that I had for you since I am becoming a pro at chemotherapy, a distinction I never really wanted. I am on my second series with a completely different treatment. Although intensive, it doesn’t seem to cause me too much trouble.

I am sending you a care package. These are things that helped me. For the physical part of me I started taking Xango Mangosteen. It’s nothing but exotic fruit juices. It’s just that the one session of chemo that I didn’t take it, I did very poorly. So I take about 3oz a day with cranberry juice and that takes care of my need to do something for my body and my bladder. You can find dealers on line or buy a poor substitute at Costco. The Costco stuff is Mangosteen but it is so pulpy that it is hard to drink. If you strain it you have only half a bottle so it is really not a savings.

For the spiritual part of me I found a letter from John Piper called “Don’t Waste Your Cancer”. It just seemed to fit. This man is not playing games with you or whitewashing the whole experience. Cancer is what it is and he has a very good handle on how to think about it. I am also sending you a Bible that is easy to read and will take you through the Bible in one year. I don’t know if you are a Christian, I guess I am assuming that you are and you may not be. If you are not, you need to know what you are missing. If you are a Christian, you need to be in the word daily or you will not be able to maintain your spiritual health.

For the emotional part of me I found that I had to write. What was in my head had to end up in print before I could stop dealing with it. I am sending you a booklet that is the first few letters that I wrote to the people who were part of my prayer team. It might help to see that what you are feeling and thinking is the same as someone else.

What you are about to do is not impossible, it just isn’t really fun. Take things with you to do, talk to people, read, knit, sleep. As you deal with the aftereffects keep busy and keep praying. Tell people what is going on. If you can, get out. You will have the same symptoms wherever you are so why not be somewhere doing something. When fatigue sets in get some rest. Try to limit it to about two hours. That way you won’t waste your days and you will sleep at night. Protect yourself from getting out of whack in your sleep patterns. Record what’s happening day by day and take it back to the doctor to see. Get copies of all your labs even if you don’t understand them. Have an advocate. My husband is mine. He fights scheduling battles and oversees medications so that we are never given the wrong thing. He has been a life saver, literally.

Choose for yourself if you want to know more about your cancer than the doctors. I chose not too and I am happy with that. I have friends who needed to know everything. For me, that is exhausting. Try to live your life like you always have but give this illness enough license to be cured. It’s a hard balance and takes a lot of prayer.

I am always available via email if you want to ask questions or just vent. I will be praying for you. I will ask Danny your name so I can relate to you better. God knows who you are.

With much love,
Marj.