To my dear friends:
To all of you who have been praying and holding vigil for me: Thank you, I am finally out of the hospital after 23 days. They say that chemo has to come close to killing you before it will kill the cancer and low and behold, they came very close to both. I am however, home and healing. God has been very faithful in answering so many little prayers just to make it from hour to hour and day to day. Many things went wrong with this chemo and the doctor, who is one of the best, is trying like crazy to find the best way to deal with my very quirky body. I did tell him that you were all praying. He is also a Christian so he understands the power that you have. As the days lengthened I realized that my own prayers became simpler. My focus shifted from the profound to the apparent. “Please, Lord, just help me heal a little more each day” It is obvious to me that God does indeed answer those simple prayers. I did heal a little each day.
I do want to say that I am extremely grateful that I was put in City of Hope. I know, hospitals are hospitals but this one is amazing. They let Lee stay with me every night in his own little bed furnished with sheets and jammies. The nurses and patient care assistants were top notch, always friendly and very sympathetic to the long haul. It seemed like they always had time for us. The meals were excellent even when I could no longer eat them, Lee did well. Most of all the doctors were just plain friendly. One doctor, who was really out of the loop for right now showed up every day just to chat. My main doctor and his assistant were there daily, explaining what’s up, what’s next and what they hoped for. We had many discussions over things that had nothing to do with medicine. I felt like I was being cared for by friends. There are no dual rooms at COH so Lee was never asked to leave. One little wrinkle was the sanction they put on me just about the time you all heard things were serious. Visitors were my life line and turned three minutes visit into what felt like the passing of another long day. I was truly uplifted every time someone showed up. But, my blood levels would not allow visitors anymore. Then the phone calls seemed like the only link I had to the outside world. If you visited or called, thank you so much. I needed those calls and visits even on the days that I can’t remember. I know that Duarte, CA is a long way from most of you but the phone is the safest way. I may return soon for the next chemo, when I do will you call me?
Why so long a stay for a “routine” chemo treatment? It’s hard to say. Nothing seemed to go as planned. There were problems giving it the way they wanted so it all went in IV. The blood levels dropped very fast and nausea came on very strong making it difficult to combat the blood problems orally. I feel like they dripped an entire ocean in me. But, God always has a reason and part of that reason may have been just to make me very still for an extended period of time. I know He and I had some long talks during those days. We are better acquainted now. I think I understand why I am going through this though I may not be able to articulate it to you. I am not at all concerned that I am going this alone. Lee has literally been by my side 99% of the time. Friends like you have prayed fervently and many others who are close at hand have willingly fed our dogs, cleaned our house, recovered our mail, done the gardening and ran the errands that needed to be run while Lee was with me. I am extremely humbled by it all. I want to thank you and yet that seems so little. I guess it will have to be the words I use to express the amazing and sustaining gratitude I have for you and for a God that would create people like you. Maybe part of my thank you will be to get well and another part is to serve God the way we have been. Maybe that will give you some sense of how important you are to me. I know people with one or two friends, I have so many I can not count them. God is amazingly good to us all.
Marj
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