Black Specks - May 25, 2010

A few days ago, Lee and I began our thirty-second year of marriage. It wasn't the most amazing day in history, nor did we do much special. However, the day was special as is every day of our lives. It was, in fact, a day of great beauty; the calmness of the atmosphere, the warmth of the day and enough to do to keep us busy and happy. For Lee and I, that is more than we need. Those days are to be cherished.

It is so nice for me to be married to Lee.

We had an hourglass timer in our house when I was a kid. It had a wooden top and bottom and white sand inside. My guess is that it was a three or five minute timer. When sitting at the table, I would turn it over and watch the grains fall. When it finished I would do it again. This was one of the few things that I didn't take apart or that didn't make noise, so my mom let me continue to mess with it. One of the things that interested me about this little timer was that it had three black grains in it. I don't know what they were but they were of a different weight and mass than the white grains so that each time I turned it over they were likely to be at the top. I would watch them get lost in the grains and then try to see them come through the tight spot and fall into place in the bottom section. The black ones helped give a sense of movement and time. They were special. They moved slower and were odd shaped compared to the white ones. Probably, some bits of the inside that broke off or fell in at the factory. With each use, they got smoother and smoother as they were required to travel down the tight shoot of the hourglass.

Our lives are not unlike those little bits of black. As Christians, we are in a pile of sand, just a few weird flakes. As we rub against the world, we find ourselves being smoothed by the friction and the trials of life. I think I am about as smooth as I can get and simply getting smaller, but as I get smaller, God becomes bigger.

Last week our lives have made a significant turn. We are now in the tight spot. Previous surgeries and the ravages of cancer have caused my digestive system to fail. I am presently at home living on I.V. food waiting for surgery to correct the problem. My blood platelet count is low and the surgeon wants it to rise before he cuts on me. I certainly agree.

Lee and I have spent many hours with the surgeon for this procedure and we are at peace in our spirit. Please pray for the surgeons as they deal with several systems of the body in an attempt to extend my life. Please pray for me, that my strength would rise on this piped in food and that I would be strong for surgery. Please pray for Lee, as this is most taxing on him. He is taking very good care of me and that just adds to his load. As he tries to work around the house, little things confound his schedule greatly because my schedule demands so much of him. Finally, know that I am in God's hands. It is all right with Lee and me if God chooses to take me this time. Just pray for God's will to be done. We do.

Love Marj.

6 comments:

Ellen Sullivan Bergh said...

Happy Anniversary kids
Didnt get to see you Sunday when Pastor asked for assistance for Lee and prayer for your I didnt know what was next til I read this.
How can we be of service to you both? Besides prayer.
CB finished his radiation and we are home here in Rosamond. No more San Diego working for us.
Our number is 256 1266 give us a call when you feel up to visitors.
We have a fella working for us, we would be happy to gift you with three hours of time on us, out on your land or whatever you need. You have only to call
Love Ellen and Clarence Bergh

DesertRat said...

Marj, Rest in the arms of our Lord now. Your pain is gone and you are at peace. While we will certainly miss your bright smile and endearing presence here, we look forward to the day we can rejoice together once again in the presence of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.

God Bless You

Anonymous said...

Marj,
I miss you so much already and it has only been hours. I know you are perfect now in Heaven. Your body is perfect and you must have such peace and joy. I love you so much...

Ellen Sullivan Bergh said...

Well done good and faithful servant!
Home with the Lord.
We will miss you and our hearts go out to your precious husband
Thanks for all your wonderful writing, especially "Dread" in the Rosamond News where you wrote of our identical childhoods, in violent families-
You are my sister in Christ and in ACA
Ellen

Karen M said...

Dear One of the Worlds greatest friends to everyone who knew Marj.

I know you are happy and your body is whole again. All the faults you had are gone as if they never touch your warm golwing soft skin... Finally, you are in your kingdom. Even tho i am fillied with a sorrow and peace for you not knowing how i could feel both so much.I wonder if the lord made you a angel. I know if i could i would because you always been an angel to me. Well angel or not i hope you save a place in your personal kingdom for me. I miss and love you and always. I going to try and get rid of the sorrow feeling.I you are saying there no need for sad sorrowing tears just happy ones for you are over joyed and feeling wonderful........

Dear Lord
Help all those who know her, have a feeling of peace overwhelm them and know as i know theres no need for sad sorrowing tears just the happy ones because marj is happy and in her kingdom looking down wanting all of us to be happy for her for she is whole again and fault free. lord help those who dont know this to see the light and beauty in Marj's death like she has. Aman Always Karen M.

Anonymous said...

What a strange world now, where we can still see the internet words even after the person is gone. Lee, we're praying for you in your huge loss. What a big void there is in your home and your heart. The only ones who know are those who have traveled that road already. But God is faithful, which you already know. Now He will show Himself mighty to lead you through these miserable first days and on into the future. Love you,
Dennis and Diana